canvas

i like the idea that life is a blank canvas, or an untouched lump of clay. it means great freedom to create, to explore new techniques of artistry, to make something unique.

i don't like the pressure to make exactly what everyone else is making.
i don't like the pressure of my want/need to make it perfect, beautiful, exact.

but, i'm learning.

there is One who set a great example about how to create. and i think it brings joy to him to see his children follow his footsteps. he has certain rules, like any art form does, and if we let him guide us, he will help us make the most beautiful, perfect life because that's what he wants from us.

that's why he lets us go through the hard times, sometimes pieces need refined, need chiseled, need to be redone. and through it all, we learn and our life continues to be molded and changed into an image of Him.

it's beautiful

cerulean

what is freedom
but a sweetly whispered word
adrift on a soft breeze
landing in my heart
causing all my chains to crumble

(your light blinds me
but there is nothing i would rather see
your love slays me
but there is no other reason to live)

hope
is like the clouds, set ablaze by the sunset
color is something i don't see
but feel

isn't mercy like rain?
a tender touch on an upturned face
(thankful)

a certain sighing silence
as love stealthily conquers all
even yesterday and tomorrow are held in love's firm grip

you are sufficiently amazing (amazing sufficient)

sleeping awake.

just watched the matrix. gee, i forgot how much i really, really, like that movie.

POD wrote a song for the matrix reloaded called "sleeping awake". i'll let the lyrics speak for themselves...

Reveal to me the mystery
Can you tell me what it means?
Explain these motions and metaphors
Unlock these secrets in me
Describe the vision, the meaning is missing
Won't anybody listen?

Define the riddles of my mind
Nothing is really what it seems

Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Sleeping Awake
Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake
Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping...

Can you see it? The writing,
Can you tell me what it means?
Translate the symbols, Enigma
Expressions keep questioning me
The message is written, the meaning is missing
Won't anybody Listen?

Prophesy, interpretating the signs
Nothing is really what it seems

Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Sleeping Awake
Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake
Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
Can you hear what I hear?
And do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
And do you feel like I feel?
And can you dream like I dream?

Do you see what I see?
Can you hear what I hear?
Or do you feel like I feel?
Or do you dream like I dream?
Anybody see me?
Anybody hear me?
Anybody feel me?
Anybody out there?!?

Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Sleeping Awake
Dreaming of Zion, Awake
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel what I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake
Do you see what I see?
And can you hear what I hear?
Do you feel like I feel?
Can't stop Sleeping Awake

Anybody see me?
Anybody hear me?
Anybody feel me?
Anybody out there?!?

always yours

i've just been tripping through life lately. pretty content, i suppose, but never wanting to settle in complacency. trying to just make sense of the situations god has me, but then realizing i just need to live, following his lead, and trusting him to work out whatever plan he has.

because, my steps are ordered by the lord. i don't need to worry about following some magic formula to make sure i'm "in his will", i just... live, loyal to my first love, Jesus, learning to channel all of my actions through my love for him.

by the way, the new switchfoot album is amazing

"Hallelujah, I'm caving in
Hallelujah, I'm in love again
Hallelujah, I'm a wretched man
Hallelujah, every breath is a second chance

And it is always yours
And I am always yours"
(switchfoot - always)