listen to the rain

it's been a sunny day, at least up in the north country, up in the high peaks.

i hit the road a bit today, explored the northern countryside where the towns are named after their lakes, the altitude is high, your cell phone doesn't have service most of the time and it's all framed by the beautiful ruggedness of the Adirondack mountainous wilderness.






it's breathtaking.

and now it's raining, back in the lake george region where the tourists gather and spend their money, shopping at the outlet malls, seemingly unaware of the realness of the mountains and the wilderness that lie just a little ways up the northway. i guess it's easier to find contentment in the material, the plastic. it makes us feel big and in control, unlike the high peaks. they make us feel small, dwarfed by their beauty.

and personally, i like it better that way

my tent doesn't leak

and since it's my home for the next few weeks, i am very thankful for that.
i'm also thankful for mountains and lakes and beautiful cities.

we drove all seventeen hours here last week without stopping for the night. it was incredible.

i've been working as an activities director at the campground basically since the day we got here. it can be a bit boring, as there isn't a lot of kids around that are interested in our paltry activities when a six-flags theme park and other various tourist stops are just down the road. but, it's money and money is unfortunately essential, especially if i want to travel again here in a few weeks.

i was thinking about changing my facebook network, but i wasn't sure what i'd change it to. it's weird that i don't live in indiana anymore. but, i don't mind the weirdness, i actually like it.

and i can forgive the lack of sunsets, only because the mountains are blocking them. i've had plenty of sunsets, but not enough of mountains.

went on a bike on a very nicely maintained bike path in the woods. this was the view:



it's hard to beat

i wanna get kicked out of somewhere

you know, like the library here, or walmart. 'cause it wouldn't matter, i'm leaving in the morning!

of course, it all still feels like a dream. i honestly can't believe that this is really happening. it is impossible to describe the feeling of having (nearly) all of my belongings neatly packed in the back of my station wagon. in all actuality, i am currently homeless. and i think i'm supposed to feel freed, but the reality of it all hasn't actually sunk in yet.

tomorrow... the open road. windows down, music playing (or not playing, because sometimes silence is more meaningful than any music), driving my car further than it's ever been. i'm going back to the place i was born, even though i didn't live there for long, i still feel a connection (along with hating my parents for moving. well not, really, but still!). and i'll only be there for about six weeks before we move again, this time to north carolina to live with a family that's practically my own, but still isn't. it's going to be strange, but these are the kind of memories i want to have. i want good stories to tell my grandkids about my life. i don't want to tell them that i sat in indiana on my computer when i was young. i want to tell them how i saw things, felt things, experienced things.

the conventional, it's just not me. it leaves me burned out and depressed. but this, this wild crazy not settling down, everything up in the air manic life, that's me. and i love every moment of it.

there is one thing in life that i have come to learn.
that is, treating each person you come in contact with like they are important makes such a huge difference.

this might be a trite example, but hear me out.

i was at work today, waiting tables, and being awesome and whatnot. it's usually my policy to treat customers like they rock because it typically means more money for me. (however, i have a theory that i'd rather deal with a nice customer who tips poorly than a rude customer who tips well. so maybe i'm not too much of a mercenary. but i digress). i decided to expand that practice, however, to my coworkers and to whomever else may just decide to cross my path.

there is this one girl at work who i just didn't think liked me. she was always rude and standoffish and i typically avoided her when i could. but today, i decided to say good morning to her and ask her how she was. to my suprise she didn't say "leave me alone, jerk", but smiled and returned the question. and the entire day we were pleasant to each other. which led to me think that when we think people are rude to us, maybe they think we are the ones being rude. and it's up to us to break out of that, even with a simple good morning.

you see, because in the end life is not about me.
it's about other people.
and making other people feel like they are liked and valued as a person even when you're not sure you even like them is what i believe i (and i think you, too) are called to do.
i think that one book says something along those lines. oh you know, the bible. yeah, that jesus dude. and that paul guy, too.

it is freeing to live outside of yourself. it rids you of not only vanity and pride, but also of self-consciousness and insecurity. because those are just two sides of the same coin: self-absorption.

the past is over.

there is nothing you can do about it now.
i'm sorry. but you have to let it go.

there is only one thing you can do.
that is, take control of the future. you have a chance to make the future whatever you want it to be. you may not be able to control time, but you can control how you react and respond. you are responsible with what you make with the things that life (God) gives you.

so, do yourself a favor.
leave the past behind you.
pocket the good memories and hold onto the lessons you've learned from your mistakes.

...and walk forward.

my list of things to do is quite daunting
but i'm not afraid of it

it's the natural course of life,
this thing called change
and i like it
i like it a lot

anticipation...